Hey! I have a beard. Maybe this comic is actually autobiographical? I'll never tell.
One of my dreams has always been to be the proud owner of a glorious beard. Unfortunately sheer will alone does not a beard grow, and in times of stress I've developed a frustrating habit of subconsciously plucking hairs from my chin. It's a little gross, but the unexpected silver lining is that my nails are longer than ever before! You know, because I've substituted fingernail-biting with beardhair-plucking, in case that wasn't clear. Soon I'll be able to scratch things and pick up change when I drop it on the ground, rather than spending days stooped over the pavement fumbling for a shiny 50 cent piece I'm too stubborn to just let go.